My Midnight Lament

Hi lovelies,

As mentioned from the very creation of this blog – Nyasha’s Nook, is a space, I created to offer seclusion and security to those in need, including myself. In today’s blog post I wanted to take a more serious approach, which I hope will not only provide healing to me, but also to those around me who have been affected or who are in similar situations.

Without delving into the whole story, during the week, a situation arose, that caused me to utter the words – ‘I wish I was never abused’.

Later, as I was reflecting on those 5 small yet mighty words, I began to realize the effect everything was still having on my life, to this very day.

For many years I was aware, yet doubted the fact that I was ever a victim of such. However over the last year, I have come to realize that I was maltreated. I was taken advantage of, whether knowingly or unknowingly by certain individuals.

Without getting into the nitty gritty of it all, I still always question what my life would have been like, if I had never experienced the things I did. Would I have been more ambitious? Would I trust more? Would I have a higher self esteem? The queries only go on and on…

Despite the fact that the reality of it all, is horrific. I choose to not let it define me. I choose to let go of the hurt, bitterness and pain associated with the sheer thoughts of the experiences. I am deciding not to allow it to affect my life negatively any longer.

Yes, there will be days that it will be a lot harder to pick myself up from the bitterness, but I will at least make the effort to stand up tall, and to encourage those behind me.

The sad reality, is that, each of us has been abused in one way or another, whether sexually, physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, financially and/or spiritually. These forms of abuse can occur, for both short and long periods of time, and their effects may vary from one individual to the next.

If you are reading this and you are/have been a victim of abuse, these affirmations are for you;

I am loved.

I am appreciated.

I am valued.

I will prosper.

I have a purpose.

I will succeed.

I will be patient with myself as I heal.

“Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Love, Nyasha x

A Guide to Making Friends for Life

Hi lovelies,

I hope you have all had a fantastic week. On the blog, this week, I have decided to delve into the world of friendships. Friendships are an integral part of each of our lives. Being surrounded by good friends has many benefits to an individual. They make hard times easier, and the good times all the better. Unfortunately as we get older, making good friends becomes much harder, because of the shift in expectations from both parties.

Recently, as I was talking to one of my friends, I was reminded of the struggles that come with forming true friendships in adolescence. For me, this stage was filled with conflict, jealousy, mistrust and consistent questioning of people’s intentions. I used to think that I would never be truly content in my friendships. However, over the last month I’ve come to realize that I am honestly so blessed to be surrounded by true friends that go above and beyond my expectations on a daily. The type that I can actually rely on, not question and laugh with, to the point of tears.

This week I wanted to share a short guide to help anyone who might feel like they are truly not satisfied with their friendships. Numerous studies in the last decade show that many people feel like they don’t have any true companions. If this is you, don’t feel guilty, according to Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”… so if you are not satisfied with your friends – you can’t be satisfied with yourself. I hope that the following steps will be of use to those of you, who are wanting to improve their friendship circle.

1. Be a true friend

The law of attraction, that states, that you attract what you are, plays a pivotal role in the formation of friendships. I quickly learnt this in my teens, when I decided to ditch the mean girl demeanor, that is heavily influenced by the media. I became a ‘girl’s girl’, who was more concerned with empowering the girls around me rather than gossiping and anticipating their downfall. With this character change I began to attract positive friends that were open and welcoming. By naturally shifting to positive thinking I began to align myself with the type of people I wanted in my life.

2. Be yourself

“You came into this world alone and you’ll leave it alone”, so why would you change yourself to suit people who are only in your life temporarily. It’s so easy these days, to find yourself in positions that compromise your identity, just to suit those around you. However, it is much more beneficial to be CONFIDENT IN YOU, without feeling the need to be validated by so called ‘friends’.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” – Romans 12:2

3. Make the effort to stay in touch

I’m sure you are all aware of the belief that true friends can go long periods without speaking and then easily reconnect, and although I have found this to be true, distance can only be built and sustained by maintaining friendships. Just like relationships, friendships require effort. Friendship’s can be maintained by keeping in contact through texts, calls and face-to-face interactions, where possible.

4. Give and take

Unfortunately each of us have dealt with a friend that seems to take more than they give, at least once in our lifetime. This friend is quick to make all things about themselves. If you find yourself tolerating their selfishness, overtime you may begin to unintentionally form mistrust in future relationships, as a result of this one experience. I would encourage any of you who may feel like they were used in a friendship, either for their time, attention, energy and/or money, to open up again. Friendships are all about balance. Individuals involved must work together to create friendships where each person feels cared about, appreciated and respected. It’s just as important to have good friends, as it is to be a good friend.

When you are surrounded by good people, you’re surrounded by life. Stress is reduced and you begin to experience happiness in all facets. If you have come to realize that you are short on meaningful friendships, I would encourage you to reflect on this guide and start making changes to your circle today.

Be open to inviting new people into your life.

Love, Nyasha x