How are you all keeping?
Before I dive into today’s blog post, I just want to apologize for the lack of content on this blog lately. The reality is that, college has finally decided to take its preeminence in my life again. Deadlines are beginning to pile up on me, and as a result, for the time being, I have no other choice but to prioritize my education, meaning content on the blog will now be limited to when I can, instead of on a weekly basis.
I am not saying goodbye, but I am just giving each of you a heads up, not to be expecting a weekly blog post as I was previously accustomed to. Instead I will try pop on as often as I can, with as much advice, updates and positive energy, as possible!
For the time being, I just want to say thank you for the continuous support that each of you have given me since starting – I honestly feel like I can never say it enough.
For all the shares, comments, words of encouragement and for simply taking the time to read what I put out. Thank you!
Anyways… enough of the soppy stuff. Let’s get into the topic, of today’s blog post;
Why prioritizing yourself, is the best decision you’ll ever make.
Growing up, I was always that child who would drop everything and anything to be there for the people around me.
I have a very giving personality and I never really knew my limit. I would bend backwards for people who would rarely do the same for me.
As I went through my teenage years, I quickly identified this trait and how detrimental it was becoming for me. I was beginning to feel exhausted, frustrated and even angry when I would not receive the same energy I would consistently give out.
I would question my self worth, identity, friendships and life itself. All because I had convinced myself that I loved being a giver. That I am someone everyone should be able to count on, when they are in need.
From a young age we are all taught that giving is the best way to show kindness.
We are all guilty at chorusing the idea that ‘sharing is caring’ – but never explaining to what extent. No wonder why it becomes so easy for some of us to get caught up in unhealthy cycles that may begin to take a toil on our health.
When your constantly the one who gives and gives, you risk burning yourself out. Your well, begins to run dry, and as a result you begin to form resentful feelings.
If you relate to ever feeling any of the above emotions because of your tendency to give a little more than is necessary, I want to encourage you to find a balance.
Begin to identify when your giving out of love or when you’re giving out of guilt and negativity.
Unfortunately I can’t tell you exactly how to find this balance for yourself, but what I can share, is how doing so, for myself, has benefited me.
1. I began to value myself
As I mentioned above, over giving caused me to develop negative emotions. It took a significant toil on my self-esteem and made me question my self worth and value. I almost began to feel like it was normal for people to walk all over me. However, once I identified the negative emotions, that stemmed from giving too much. I quickly began to put value on myself.
Now I have learnt to quickly take two steps back, when I feel under appreciated or taken for granted.
I’m not saying that I expect to be thanked or praised when I go out of my way for someone, but if I’m constantly questioning the other individuals intentions, my time will quickly become limited.
2. My giving became much more genuine
If you were to ask me what my favorite characteristic, that I possess is, I would undoubtedly say that it is my giving spirit.
However at one point in time, I found myself giving for all the wrong reasons. I remember feeling guilty and under pressure, to do it all! To give, because it made me look good, or because I felt morally obliged to.
To overcome this, I had to learn to prioritize my own needs, and as a result, I started giving from a cheerful place, once again!
I took care of my own needs, which in turn gave me the energy necessary, to take care of, and put energy that was light, joyful and void of pressure, into others.
3. I began to focus on my own goals
When your a naturally giving person, it is very easy to focus entirely on other individuals, besides yourself.
You begin to focus all your time and energy into them, leaving little to no time for you. You slowly become sidetracked by their life, and slowly begin to divert all attention, away from your own ambitions and plans.
By balancing how much of me, I was giving to people, I began to regain my own zeal for life. I no longer craved that thrill, I got from helping people. I stopped allowing, giving to be the only drive I had in life. I realized I had more to offer!
Prioritizing myself, was and is one of the best decisions I have ever made, because it caused me to develop as an individual. I became an even happier person, because I grew to be content in myself, as opposed to being content in the way others saw me. I started to become (well at least tried…), as invested in myself as I was in others.
To whoever this has resonated with – I beg you to find your balance. Stop feeling guilty. Let go of the pressures of society.
Protect your energy, by prioritizing yourself.
Yes it’s all well and good, to be there for everyone and anyone, but if you can’t even be there for yourself, what good are you?
Reminder; You are allowed to help yourself before you help others.
Love, Nyasha x