Tag: lifeadvice

My Midnight Lament

Hi lovelies,

As mentioned from the very creation of this blog – Nyasha’s Nook, is a space, I created to offer seclusion and security to those in need, including myself. In today’s blog post I wanted to take a more serious approach, which I hope will not only provide healing to me, but also to those around me who have been affected or who are in similar situations.

Without delving into the whole story, during the week, a situation arose, that caused me to utter the words – ‘I wish I was never abused’.

Later, as I was reflecting on those 5 small yet mighty words, I began to realize the effect everything was still having on my life, to this very day.

For many years I was aware, yet doubted the fact that I was ever a victim of such. However over the last year, I have come to realize that I was maltreated. I was taken advantage of, whether knowingly or unknowingly by certain individuals.

Without getting into the nitty gritty of it all, I still always question what my life would have been like, if I had never experienced the things I did. Would I have been more ambitious? Would I trust more? Would I have a higher self esteem? The queries only go on and on…

Despite the fact that the reality of it all, is horrific. I choose to not let it define me. I choose to let go of the hurt, bitterness and pain associated with the sheer thoughts of the experiences. I am deciding not to allow it to affect my life negatively any longer.

Yes, there will be days that it will be a lot harder to pick myself up from the bitterness, but I will at least make the effort to stand up tall, and to encourage those behind me.

The sad reality, is that, each of us has been abused in one way or another, whether sexually, physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, financially and/or spiritually. These forms of abuse can occur, for both short and long periods of time, and their effects may vary from one individual to the next.

If you are reading this and you are/have been a victim of abuse, these affirmations are for you;

I am loved.

I am appreciated.

I am valued.

I will prosper.

I have a purpose.

I will succeed.

I will be patient with myself as I heal.

“Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Love, Nyasha x

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“You will overcome this”

Hi lovelies,

Yes, here I am, actually fulfilling my promise to deliver a second blog post this week. Congratulations to me!

Whilst scrolling through Instagram the other night (as you do), I came across a quote that read “YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS” – and I don’t know whether it was the pink writing the words were displayed on, or the words themselves that resonated with me. But I suddenly felt an undeniable sense of comfort.

I began to think about the post I saw on Instagram, at the start of the week, from an individual who was out for a walk but stumbled upon a teenager who had just received their results – under a tree branch with a rope straddling down, within seconds of taking their own life. I began to think about my family and friends who are going through times where they feel like all hope is gone. I also, began to think about me… and the things that worry me from time to time. The things I think I will never achieve or accomplish.

I then began to think about all the things that I had overcome, such as secondary school, consistent negative thinking, state exams and 2nd year college exams (cause those were a real struggle this year). I began to realize that at one point in time, I also believed that I would never overcome these things… but here I am. These things no longer give me any reason to cry or have anxious thoughts, concerning them.

Today I just wanted to encourage anyone and everyone… including myself, who may be reading this. I wanted to remind you that irrespective of the current tribulation you may be experiencing, YOU WILL OVERCOME! Trust me, I know it’s a lot easier to say when you are not in the moment yourself – but those 4 words hold a lot more truth than you may realize. You will overcome this, no matter what the situation may be. There is hope for you. You are not a failure. You are loved. You will succeed.

Love, Nyasha x

Tips for Settling into College

Hi lovelies,

So after many weeks of promises, I’m finally sitting down to deliver a blog posts that is college related. Firstly, in case I forget to formally say it, I want to wish each of you awaiting results next Tuesday, the best of luck. For those of you, who may be anxiously counting down the hours, just remember that everything will work out, even if it doesn’t seem like it will, at first.

“In the end everything will work out fine. If it doesn’t. It’s not the end”

As discussed in my previous blog post entitled “It’s Not Over… It’s Just The Beginning”, there are various routes with multiple ways, to get to your desired destination, so don’t ever lose faith. For those of you hoping to go into third level education, I have been asked to share some tips on settling into college.

In September I will be going into my final year of studying Early Childhood Education and Care in IT Carlow, Wexford Campus. Upon reflection on my first few weeks of college in first year, I came up with the following four tips for those of you, who will be continuing on into third level education in September.

1. Come Prepared

Unlike secondary school, college is based on self directed learning. Lectures are there to help their students, prior to assignments and exams, but ultimately it is the effort the student makes that will earn them their desired result. That is why it is so important to come to lectures prepared. Always have a notebook and pen at the ready to jot down any terms, or better yet assignment hints that are mentioned in passing.

2. Be open to new experiences, friends and opportunities

Whether you are going to college, university or a post leaving cert, it’s important to be open minded. The truth of the matter is, you are about to experience a whole new journey that you can’t always control. Allow yourself to experience new ideas and thoughts. Allow yourself to make mistakes, recognize them and get back up again. Be confident in you, what you stand for and your beliefs. Although college may seem like the next step after secondary school, it is in fact a whole new experience that will shape you not only as a student, but as a person – so allow yourself to experience that journey wholly.

3. Be organized

As mentioned above, college is all about self directed learning. Take my advice when I say, get a planner or even a notebook where you write all your deadlines in order of importance. College will be a lot easier for you, and those around you, if you stay on top of your assignments and readings. If you were one of them students who would leave their homework till the night or morning before a class, in secondary school, I would strongly advise you, not to carry that habit into college as it will only result in tears (*I’m not even being dramatic*).

4. Prioritize your time

College life has so much to offer – a new routine, new hobbies, new friends and new experiences. You may want to experience everything your college has to offer all at once, but remember to try not to take too much on, as you may risk burning out so early on in the year. Try to prioritize getting into a routine of attending lectures and meeting deadlines before you start taking on too much socializing – aim to strike an equal balance of the two.

In finishing I want to wish each of you, all the best, as the new academic year approaches, whether you are going into first year of college or not. I hope the year brings you joy, success and minimal stress.

Love, Nyasha x

Gratitude.

Hi lovelies,

It honestly feels like I haven’t talked to you all in forever, but I’m back! I hope you are all keeping well and enjoying life and what it has to offer, at the moment. I know I am. This week alone has been such a good one for me.

On Wednesday, I went on a little day trip to Wexford to see my main ‘huns’. The sun didn’t disappoint us, so we used it to our advantage, and went on a little road trip to Forth Mountain Quarry…. where the scenes did not let us down.

I don’t know if seeing the world from an elevated point of view made me develop a strong sense of gratitude, but I certainly found myself feeling much more thankful and appreciative for the people I’m surrounded by, the fact that I have a job, a roof over my head, clothes I can wear and food on my plate – all the things I tend to take for granted every other day.

Gratitude is described as the quality of being thankful and the readiness to show appreciation.

By developing a sense of gratitude, we obtain the ability to disconnect from toxic, negative emotions, increase our happiness, become less materialistic and less likely to experience burn out while developing patience, humility and wisdom. Expressing gratitude not only benefits an individual, but it also benefits their society. Despite the numerous benefits, expressing gratitude has to offer, many of us often fail to show gratitude to those who make a difference in our lives on a daily basis.

We struggle to find the right words to express ourselves and assume that the person we want to appreciate, will feel just as uncomfortable hearing us express our gratitude as we will feel, expressing it. This however, is not the case. When we show our gratitude to others, we make them feel valued and significant. As individuals, we thrive on positive feedback. Being valued and appreciated reinforces a positive sense of self worth.

From today onwards, I am going to make the conscious effort to find one thing I am grateful for, every night before I go to sleep. If it happens to be an individual, I will make sure to show my gratitude to them one way or another, so that they too, know that I value them.

On that note, I would like to say a massive thank you to each of you reading my blog, sending kind messages and interacting with me. It means a lot more than you may realize. If you live in Ireland, I currently have a giveaway running on my Instagram account @niiash_a. Unfortunately it does end tonight, at 23:59, but please do enter up until then, you never know you could be the lucky one.

I definitely hope to do more giveaways in the future, so don’t be disheartened if you missed this one.

You are all making a dream of mine a reality, so I will continue to thank you in any way possible.

“Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul” – Amy Colette

Love, Nyasha x

Release.

Hi lovelies,

In today’s blog post I have decided to share my inner most thoughts with those of you… like me, who struggle with letting go. Yesterday, as I was decluttering my wardrobe, I noticed that I was struggling to set aside clothes I hadn’t used or worn in months, to either donate or throw in the bin. Although I was no longer in need of even half of them, I struggled to let go of the clutter because of the emotions and memories I had subconsciously attached to them. Later on, when I had completed the decluttering (to the best of my ability), I decided to identify why exactly I had struggled so much to let go of clothes that had served their purpose in my life. As my mind began to wander from this scenario, I found myself questioning my overall ability to let go and declutter in a general sense.

According to Breda Stack, clutter is “anything physical, mental or emotional, that doesn’t serve us or make us feel good”. Each of us has some sort of clutter in our lives, for some this clutter may be the heap of clothes you keep in that corner of your room, and for others, it may simply be the people you’re surround by.

Either way, decluttering is not only beneficial for our rooms, but it is also beneficial for our lives. By letting go of unnecessary baggage, we allow ourselves to release the negative emotions that suffocate us on a daily.

Thanks to Disney’s hit movie Frozen, I have reason to believe that most, if not all of us are familiar with the phrase “let it go”, but have you ever stopped to consider what it actually means to do so?

By letting go, we release all doubt, worry and fear concerning a situation, object, person or outcome. We let go of the things that disrupt our happiness and have seized to serve us on our journey. By letting go we decide to no longer reminisce on what is out of our control, but instead, focus on what is. Letting go creates new opportunities, by stripping away the past. It involves more than just singing ‘LET IT GO’. It is an internal process, that must occur for you to truly feel better. Although I am still working on this myself in multiple areas of my life, by writing this I hope to make a conscious effort to release and be freed from things that have had a hold on me.

I choose to fully accept the experience, situation, and purpose a particular item or person has had in my life and gain control of my present self.

No matter the situation it is important to always remember that you cannot alter the past. We must enjoy what is folding right in front of us without worrying about our needs, desires and wants in the future.

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself” ~ Deepak Chopra

Love, Nyasha x

Shauna’s Summer Social

Hi lovelies,

So last weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend Shauna Doyle’s very first event – ‘Shauna’s Summer Social”. I have been following Shauna’s Instagram for a little less than a year now, but I immediately fell in love with her content because of the authentic online presence she conveys across all her socials. I also love that she is very much an all round blogger and does not shy away from any category – this really stood out for her at her event, where she discussed all things makeup, fashion, biodegradable glitter, sustainabilility, relationships, love island, mental health, future goals and much much more. There was literally something for everyone.

In today’s blogpost I decided to share some highlights I captured, of the outstanding event. Shauna really went above and beyond with every single detail in order to host a fabulous blush babies event that was instagrammable.

Shuana’s Summer Social was held in the luxurius River Lee Hotel, a member of The Doyle Collection, in Cork. Upon arrval, each attendee was greeted, offered a glass of orange juice and photoraphed by @johnarthurphotos infront of the Blush Babies moon gate.

As I walked into the room more, my eyes quickly gravitated to each and every detail. Shauna did not miss any opportunity to personalize the event and make it her own. The whole room was embellished with baby pink tones, stamped with her logo. It was evident that she was involved in the entire organisation process.

As we all approached our seats, waiting for us, was the goodie bag Shauna had teased prior to the event, along with a programme and slithers of cake made by @traceofcakes.

Inside the programme, along with the schedule of activities and sponsors, was a page dedicated for us to jot down ‘what we learnt’, our ‘wishlist’ and ‘notes’. This was a fantastic addition to the programme as it gave each of us an opportunity to write down any products, tips and word’s of advice, that were mentioned as the event progressed. Once we were all settled Shauna then went up and welcomed us all, to her very first event. She spoke with such humility and gratitude, not only to her sponsors, friends and family, but also to us, her blush babies who support her on a day to day.

She then moved on to the first segment of the day, which was ‘Makeup’, where she was joined by Caoimhe (@caoimhebhmua) to do a makeup look on Lucy (@lulusbits). Throughout the process, Shauna and Caoimhe were generous enough to share all their tips, favourite products and answer the ‘hape’ of questions we all had. Once the dewy makeup look was complete, Shauna then invited us all outside for some lunch.

Moctails @thehitchingpost.ie Cupcakes @traceofcakes

After lunch we went straight into the the ‘Styling Session’. For this session, Shauna invited Ali (@ali123_), who is a student brand ambassador for Boohoo, to talk all things fashion. Shauna and Ali had both brought staple pieces from their wadropes, to give us tips on how to style them. I loved that they discussed sustainable fashion in this segment and how it is okay to wear an outfit more than once. Something I had never considered, that Ali mentioned was, if like her, you’re someone who loves wearing dresses and then struggles to switch the outfit up for another occasion, maybe try buying trousers/skirts and tops so that you can alternate pieces to switch up the outfit. The minute she said this it immediately resonated with me, as I am that person who buys dress after dress but never has any other way to change up the outfit besides the original way I wore it. I can’t wait to try out her tip next time I go shopping and see if I can save myself a few euros in the long run.

The final segment of the day, after another short break, was the ‘Q+A & Panel’ where Shauna was joined by four other fabulous ladies.

@carolbyrne30 @aoifeesull @niamhdebrun @cliona_o_hanlon

Together they discussed how they became the influential women they are today, while sharing the reality of their lives behind the screen. Each of them had their own experiences and goals which I really loved hearing about as there was something for everyone to relate to. They did not shy away from their truth but instead shared their raw real life experiences.

All in all, I really and truly enjoyed #shaunassummersocial. The time and dedication she put into the organisation of it all, in the months leading up to it, was really worth while. I wish events like this were on every single weekend. The whole event was very intimate and felt like a massive sister chat.

I am very excited to see what is next for Shauna, but for now I will hold onto what is now a fond memory of mine.

Love, Nyasha x

It’s Not Over… It’s Just The Beginning

Hi lovelies,

Firstly I would like to say a massive thank you to those of you that interacted with my polls and questions on Instagram at the start of the week. It was really insightful to see all your responses on what you would like to see on the blog, over the next few weeks. I promise to try my best to deliver. One particular request I got was to write about results, and seeing as the leaving cert results come out in a little less than a month and the junior cert after that, I decided to share some encouragement for those awaiting their fate.

Exam season is often an extremely stressful period for the best of us. The manner in which they are prepared for and examined often leave students feeling anxious as results day approaches. Although exams usually mark the end of one phase of life, and influence the choices for the next, they are not to be considered the be-all and end-all. It is important to remember that a rounded education is much more valuable than good grades.

From a personal perspective, the lead up to any results day usually leaves me feeling a whirlwind of emotions, which include anxiety, excitement, stress, nervousness and eagerness. Thankfully I’m not the only one. The lead up to exam results is undoubtedly the most stressful time for students, talkless the pressure of needing specific grades for college, or simply, to sit higher level subjects in senior cycle. You may feel like the results you achieve, will determine how your life will pan out in the future, but I am here to tell you that they are just a small part of a much bigger picture, and not the be-all and end-all of success.

Whether you get the results you’re aiming for or not, when you open that envelope, remember to continue to follow your dreams. Just like when you’re on a road trip, in life, there are many routes to get to your desired destination, do not limit yourself based on everyone else’s experience. Take the road less traveled, and see where it might take you.

I’m a firm believer in speaking things into existence, so I would encourage each and everyone of you awaiting results, academic or not – to start speaking positively concerning it. “To achieve great things, you first have to believe”.

Love, Nyasha x

A Guide to Making Friends for Life

Hi lovelies,

I hope you have all had a fantastic week. On the blog, this week, I have decided to delve into the world of friendships. Friendships are an integral part of each of our lives. Being surrounded by good friends has many benefits to an individual. They make hard times easier, and the good times all the better. Unfortunately as we get older, making good friends becomes much harder, because of the shift in expectations from both parties.

Recently, as I was talking to one of my friends, I was reminded of the struggles that come with forming true friendships in adolescence. For me, this stage was filled with conflict, jealousy, mistrust and consistent questioning of people’s intentions. I used to think that I would never be truly content in my friendships. However, over the last month I’ve come to realize that I am honestly so blessed to be surrounded by true friends that go above and beyond my expectations on a daily. The type that I can actually rely on, not question and laugh with, to the point of tears.

This week I wanted to share a short guide to help anyone who might feel like they are truly not satisfied with their friendships. Numerous studies in the last decade show that many people feel like they don’t have any true companions. If this is you, don’t feel guilty, according to Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”… so if you are not satisfied with your friends – you can’t be satisfied with yourself. I hope that the following steps will be of use to those of you, who are wanting to improve their friendship circle.

1. Be a true friend

The law of attraction, that states, that you attract what you are, plays a pivotal role in the formation of friendships. I quickly learnt this in my teens, when I decided to ditch the mean girl demeanor, that is heavily influenced by the media. I became a ‘girl’s girl’, who was more concerned with empowering the girls around me rather than gossiping and anticipating their downfall. With this character change I began to attract positive friends that were open and welcoming. By naturally shifting to positive thinking I began to align myself with the type of people I wanted in my life.

2. Be yourself

“You came into this world alone and you’ll leave it alone”, so why would you change yourself to suit people who are only in your life temporarily. It’s so easy these days, to find yourself in positions that compromise your identity, just to suit those around you. However, it is much more beneficial to be CONFIDENT IN YOU, without feeling the need to be validated by so called ‘friends’.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” – Romans 12:2

3. Make the effort to stay in touch

I’m sure you are all aware of the belief that true friends can go long periods without speaking and then easily reconnect, and although I have found this to be true, distance can only be built and sustained by maintaining friendships. Just like relationships, friendships require effort. Friendship’s can be maintained by keeping in contact through texts, calls and face-to-face interactions, where possible.

4. Give and take

Unfortunately each of us have dealt with a friend that seems to take more than they give, at least once in our lifetime. This friend is quick to make all things about themselves. If you find yourself tolerating their selfishness, overtime you may begin to unintentionally form mistrust in future relationships, as a result of this one experience. I would encourage any of you who may feel like they were used in a friendship, either for their time, attention, energy and/or money, to open up again. Friendships are all about balance. Individuals involved must work together to create friendships where each person feels cared about, appreciated and respected. It’s just as important to have good friends, as it is to be a good friend.

When you are surrounded by good people, you’re surrounded by life. Stress is reduced and you begin to experience happiness in all facets. If you have come to realize that you are short on meaningful friendships, I would encourage you to reflect on this guide and start making changes to your circle today.

Be open to inviting new people into your life.

Love, Nyasha x

H.O.P.E.

“Life is worth living, so live another day” – Justin Bieber

Hi lovelies,

Today, I have decided to discuss a topic that is near and dear to my heart, and that is, mental health. The World Health Organisation describe positive mental health as ‘a state of well-being in which an individual realises his/her own potential and can cope with the normal stresses of life, whilst working productively…’ . An individual’s positive mental health may be compromised as a result of long lasting and extreme negative emotions. Research shows that at least one in four adults, will be affected by some form of mental health issue at some point in their lives, as a result of environmental stresses, genetic factors, biochemical imbalances, or a combination of these.

My battle with mental health began at the age of 14, when I started feeling alone, powerless and despondent. I remember feeling like the whole world was against me. These emotions began affecting my self esteem and the relationships I had with people. For a long time I battled with these emotions on my own as I struggled to make sense of why I was feeling the way I was. I questioned what I had done to deserve the constant thunder cloud’s that shadowed me. I was slowly spiraling to a point of no return.

I can’t remember if it was necessarily by chance, or if I purposely found Zoe Sugg’s channel around this time. Her videos, specifically the ones where she would speak about dealing with anxiety – acted as the glimmer of hope I had been searching for. I found her openness to discussing her struggles and how she was overcoming them, comforting. I began to realize that I had the power to change the emotions that were clouding me – my optimism was back!

Although I have never really spoken in depth to anyone about my thoughts during this period of my life, I am always more than willing to encourage those who may feel like all hope is lost. We need to remember that ‘happiness is a journey, and not a destination’ – we may go through times that challenge us but there is always hope. We are not defined by our mental illnesses. Although it may not seem like it right now, you have the power to be in control of your life. You can achieve your heart desires.

Take it from someone who thought they would never see their 18th birthday, go to college or even one day be content in themselves… this is not the end. It does get better – maybe not overnight, but with time, hard work and dedication to yourself and your well-being, you will begin to see improvements concerning your mental health.

Just Hold On, Pain Ends.

Love, Nyasha x

Believe in You

Hi lovelies,

As I was thinking the other day, I came to the realization that I have a terrible habit of talking myself out of progression in various areas of my life. Like many, if not all of you reading this, I desire to live a successful life, however I often find that I’m battling thoughts of failure when faced with opportunities for advancement. I’d almost liken this battle in my head to the ‘angel and devil on your shoulder’ scenario’s, seen in movies and tv shows where an inner conflict occurs for the character, as a result of what’s happening in their subconscious. This battle usually gives way to doubt and usually leaves me questioning my abilities.

These feelings have occurred for me, for as long as I can imagine, but I only recently identified them, as I was FINALLY going to apply for my provisional license. For two years now, I have been procrastinating the process of learning to drive. Although I have always had a longing to get on the road, the thought of failing, not only the driving test but also the theory, constantly consumed me, prohibiting me from taking any action whatsoever. Despite these reoccurring thoughts, and with the encouragement of family and friends, I eventually booked my theory test in May, and passed with ease. Having then passed the theory I began to question why I had doubted myself for so long. I began imagining all the adventures I could have embarked on – which ultimately made me realize how much time I had potentially wasted… for two years I had been allowing the negative thoughts, plagued in my head to stop me from reaching my goal.

By fostering negative thoughts, we prohibit ourselves from reaching our true potential whilst acting as the greatest obstruction to our own success. This thought process then encourages stagnation in one or more areas, and over time, then causes the individual to have a pessimistic outlook on life.

The truth of the matter is, life isn’t always easy. Work hard for what you want, or you’ll be left to settle with what you don’t. So put in the extra effort, study that bit harder, challenge and push yourself that bit more and most importantly believe in yourself. You never really know how much you can accomplish and achieve, until you try.

Begin visualizing your highest self, and start showing up as them.

You will not regret it.

Love, Nyasha x