How to stand firm in the face of adversity

Hi lovelies,

Happy new month! Can’t believe we’re half way through the year, and into the summer months, already. I hope you are all keeping well, and that life is treating you kindly.

In today’s blogpost I wanted to write a piece of encouragement for anyone who may be faced with adversities.

With every new day, comes new possibilities, strengths and thoughts. While other days, also bring the least expected obstacles and challenges. The nature, significance and extent of these obstacles and challenges vary from person to person, however, the importance of standing firm in the face of these adversities, remains the great equaliser.

It’s now been two long years since the panoramic halted all of our lives, and although we somehow learnt to just ride the endless waves of uncertainty – it is important to consciously learn to stand firm when adversities strike, rather than allow the waves to drown us out.

Based on my own experience, one can learn to stand firm by;

  1. Shifting your mindset
  2. Establishing a strong support system, and,
  3. Consciously reflecting and redirecting

1. Shifting your mindset

It’s true what they say, your perception directly impacts your reality. Quite simply put, we see the world, not as it is, but as we are!

If you don’t like something in your life, change it! And I know that can be easier said than done, but with the right focus and dedication, you can make your dreams and desires a reality.

“The problems you face are not STOP signs, they are guidelines.”

Your life is controlled by what you focus on, so focus on the good.

2. Establishing a strong support system

Having a strong support system is pertinent during trying times. Ensure that your immediate circle of family and friends are a reliable and strong source of support to you, and focus on creating boundaries and/or mending those that aren’t.

I once read a quote that said: “Whatever you are going through in life, both positive and negative, takes a village – because you are not meant to go through it alone”.

Healthy and strong support systems are sources of wisdom & guidance, strength & hope, and, understanding & compassion.

Does your current circle of friends and family currently reflect the above characteristics?

3. Consciously reflecting and redirecting

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way creating more unintended consequences…”

Margaret J. Wheatley

I am a strong believer in all things reflection in both personal and professional life. It is, and has proven to be the key to success, and personal development in my life.

This is at large due to the fact that reflection allows me to pay particular attention to past actions and thoughts, with emphasis on identifying future learning and growth opportunities in my life.

Through reflection, you have the ability to take stock of how you’re living your life and redirect it’s course, where necessary, in advance to unexpected trials and tribulations.

By engaging in ongoing self reflection, you will soon develop a strong sense of resilience and self awareness, which in turn will help you stand firm when faced, with lives endless adversities.

By following the above steps, you will soon learn to view adversities as stepping stones to greatness, rather than stumbling blocks.

Love, Nyasha x

Lessons I learnt in 2021

Hi lovelies,

Happy New Month! I guess it’s far too late for me to wish you all a Happy New Year, seeing as we’re now well into the month of February. However, I hope 2022 has been good to each of you thus far, and I wish you all nothing but happiness, success and good health throughout the year.

I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything on here, but today I wanted to share some of the life lessons I learnt over the last year. 2021 was a whirlwind of a year for me. It was filled with so many highs and just as many lows. It was definitely a year that pushed me out of my comfort zones, changed my mindset, and also caused me to consider the fact that not everything is always as it seems.

When I look back on the previous year, here are 3 major life lessons that I learnt.

1. Trust your gut

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying “trust your gut”. It refers to listening to your intuition. By doing so, this enables us to avoid unhealthy situations and relationships.

Over the last year, I was lucky enough to work overseas – and as wonderful as the opportunity was – in one way or another, it continously reminded me of the importance of staying true to oneself.

More often than not, I was forced to refocus on my gut feelings, and although this would sometimes feel similar to physical feelings associated with anxiety, in due time I would always feel a sense of safety, peace and even happiness, once I had followed my gut.

“Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through ignoring our intuition”

2. Do not overly depend on any one person

Now before I delve into this point, I want to start by saying that I am a firm believer in the proverb that states that ‘no man is an island’, meaning that none of us are truly self sufficient. We desire human connections for comfort and community.

However, that doesn’t mean we should overly depend on any one person, whether that be your partner, best friend, cousin, mother, father and/or sibling.

The reality is, that we came into this world alone, and we’ll leave it alone. So, whilst we continue to rely on community in order to thrive in each of our individual lives, let’s learn to also stand alone. Become comfortable in your own company – there is honestly nothing more empowering than learning to enjoy ones solitude. By doing so you will quickly grow to learn that your happiness, self worth and state of contentment is not determined by others.

“Never search for happiness in others, it will make you feel alone. Search for it within yourself, you will feel happy even when you’re left alone”

3. Admitting you need help is okay

“One of the biggest defects in life is the inability to ask for help”

Everyone of us require help, and support every once in a while – and this is perfectly fine. As mentioned previously, ‘no man is an island’, therefore we cannot and shouldn’t expect ourselves to carry troubles all on our own.

Unfortunately, many of us still struggle to ask for help, even when we desperately need it. As a result we leave ourselves open to feelings of depression which may also result in the deterioration of our careers and relationships. Some of us have the belief that to be considered a ‘strong individual’ you must be able to face all your challenges on your own. However, this is very far from the truth.

By asking for help when we need it, we save ourselves from a lot of unnecessary emotional burden.

Remember, “a problem shared is a problem halved”

In the words of Barack Obama,

“… Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and then allows you to learn something new.”

2009

I could continue to list out many other lessons I learnt over the course of 2021, but I thought I would keep this blog short and sweet. I hope that this blog post resonated with at least one of you, and reinforced something that you needed to hear.

With that being said, I hope 2022 is filled with nothing but growth for each every single one of us.

Reflect, refresh and refocus as often, and as much as you need to.

Love, Nyasha x

How to minimise the stress you’re feeling concerning Covid-19

Hi lovelies,

I hope you and your loved ones are all keeping well during these unprecedented times, and doing your part to minimise the spread of coronavirus by wearing your masks, washing your hands and avoiding overly crowded areas.

Today I wanted to share a few tips on how to minimise the stress you may be feeling regarding Covid-19, and the mere thought of a second wave.

The times we are currently living in, have proven to be extremely overwhelming to each and everyone of us – not only as individuals but also as a society. It’s very important that we continue to look after our health, both physically and mentally. Here is a few ways to do so;

1. Limit your consumption of news – especially if it’s not from a credible source

I’m sure I’m not the only one, whose overall news consumption skyrocketed at the start of the pandemic. We were all craving to stay informed in order to control all the uncertainy. However, like most of you, I quickly learnt that this obsession led to fatigue and/or anxiety.

Whether we are progressing or regressing, I think it’s important for us to come to terms with how much news is too much for our mental health. It’s important that we stay informed, but it’s equally important that we learn to accept what is beyond our control. We need to remain focused on the factors that we can control.

2. Do your part

Although the pandemic has restricted the extent to which we live our lives, we all still have a part to play in order to overcome the Covid-19 pandemic.

By making a conscious effort to follow the regulations and guidelines advised, we can all continue to take better care of ourselves both physically and mentally whilst still enjoying the things we love.

3. Do not depend on your own understanding

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”

Proverbs 3:5

During these unprecedented times, its so easy for our minds to run wild and imagine all the worst case scenarios.

One thing that significantly helped me and continues to help me during this season, is remembering that God is in control.

I know some of you reading this may not be believers, but my encouragement for each of us is taken from a quote that says,

“There is HOPE, even when your brain tells you there isn’t”

John Green

Have faith that things will work out.

Love, Nyasha x

Why prioritizing yourself, is the best decision you’ll ever make

Hi lovelies,

How are you all keeping?

Before I dive into today’s blog post, I just want to apologize for the lack of content on this blog lately. The reality is that, college has finally decided to take its preeminence in my life again. Deadlines are beginning to pile up on me, and as a result, for the time being, I have no other choice but to prioritize my education, meaning content on the blog will now be limited to when I can, instead of on a weekly basis.

I am not saying goodbye, but I am just giving each of you a heads up, not to be expecting a weekly blog post as I was previously accustomed to. Instead I will try pop on as often as I can, with as much advice, updates and positive energy, as possible!

For the time being, I just want to say thank you for the continuous support that each of you have given me since starting – I honestly feel like I can never say it enough.

For all the shares, comments, words of encouragement and for simply taking the time to read what I put out. Thank you!

Anyways… enough of the soppy stuff. Let’s get into the topic, of today’s blog post;

Why prioritizing yourself, is the best decision you’ll ever make.

Growing up, I was always that child who would drop everything and anything to be there for the people around me.

I have a very giving personality and I never really knew my limit. I would bend backwards for people who would rarely do the same for me.

As I went through my teenage years, I quickly identified this trait and how detrimental it was becoming for me. I was beginning to feel exhausted, frustrated and even angry when I would not receive the same energy I would consistently give out.

I would question my self worth, identity, friendships and life itself. All because I had convinced myself that I loved being a giver. That I am someone everyone should be able to count on, when they are in need.

From a young age we are all taught that giving is the best way to show kindness.

We are all guilty at chorusing the idea that ‘sharing is caring’ – but never explaining to what extent. No wonder why it becomes so easy for some of us to get caught up in unhealthy cycles that may begin to take a toil on our health.

When your constantly the one who gives and gives, you risk burning yourself out. Your well, begins to run dry, and as a result you begin to form resentful feelings.

If you relate to ever feeling any of the above emotions because of your tendency to give a little more than is necessary, I want to encourage you to find a balance.

Begin to identify when your giving out of love or when you’re giving out of guilt and negativity.

Unfortunately I can’t tell you exactly how to find this balance for yourself, but what I can share, is how doing so, for myself, has benefited me.

1. I began to value myself

As I mentioned above, over giving caused me to develop negative emotions. It took a significant toil on my self-esteem and made me question my self worth and value. I almost began to feel like it was normal for people to walk all over me. However, once I identified the negative emotions, that stemmed from giving too much. I quickly began to put value on myself.

Now I have learnt to quickly take two steps back, when I feel under appreciated or taken for granted.

I’m not saying that I expect to be thanked or praised when I go out of my way for someone, but if I’m constantly questioning the other individuals intentions, my time will quickly become limited.

2. My giving became much more genuine

If you were to ask me what my favorite characteristic, that I possess is, I would undoubtedly say that it is my giving spirit.

However at one point in time, I found myself giving for all the wrong reasons. I remember feeling guilty and under pressure, to do it all! To give, because it made me look good, or because I felt morally obliged to.

To overcome this, I had to learn to prioritize my own needs, and as a result, I started giving from a cheerful place, once again!

I took care of my own needs, which in turn gave me the energy necessary, to take care of, and put energy that was light, joyful and void of pressure, into others.

3. I began to focus on my own goals

When your a naturally giving person, it is very easy to focus entirely on other individuals, besides yourself.

You begin to focus all your time and energy into them, leaving little to no time for you. You slowly become sidetracked by their life, and slowly begin to divert all attention, away from your own ambitions and plans.

By balancing how much of me, I was giving to people, I began to regain my own zeal for life. I no longer craved that thrill, I got from helping people. I stopped allowing, giving to be the only drive I had in life. I realized I had more to offer!

Prioritizing myself, was and is one of the best decisions I have ever made, because it caused me to develop as an individual. I became an even happier person, because I grew to be content in myself, as opposed to being content in the way others saw me. I started to become (well at least tried…), as invested in myself as I was in others.

To whoever this has resonated with – I beg you to find your balance. Stop feeling guilty. Let go of the pressures of society.

Protect your energy, by prioritizing yourself.

Yes it’s all well and good, to be there for everyone and anyone, but if you can’t even be there for yourself, what good are you?

Reminder; You are allowed to help yourself before you help others.

Love, Nyasha x

Stop underestimating yourself

Hi lovelies,

Before I get into this weeks blogpost, I just want to say my sincere apologies for not posting one last week. I was honestly so exhausted by the time it got to the weekend, and just kept experiencing writing blocks whenever I sat down to write. Thankfully I’m well rested now, the sun is shining and I am feeling super motivated to conquer the week!

Yesterday as I was scrolling through Instagram, I came across a quote that read “Stop underestimating yourself”.

Tomorrow, I start my final year in college – and I’d be lying to you, if I was to say that, I wasn’t feeling worried and overwhelmed. Quite simply, the thoughts of ‘THE THESIS’ scare me! When I think about gathering all the research involved in it, I start to undermine not only my abilities but also myself.

For some reason, in my head I have managed to construct the belief that I am going to walk into my Research Project module and be flung into the deep end with 0 assistance. However, in reality, I know this won’t be the case. I can be rest assured that my lecturers, friends and family will be there every step of the way – to offer guidance, support and encouragement when in need.

This year surely wont be the easiest but I will definitely pull through it.

“Sometimes when you are the closest to your breakthrough the pressure is the greatest. You have come too far to give up now!” – Joyce Meyer

Whether you are starting college, going into your final year, or embarking on a new life venture, do not underestimate yourself.

Believe in your abilities.

Each of us was born with the potential to do great things – but those great things can only come to flourish when we believe.

“You must expect great things of yourself, before you can do them”

Love, Nyasha x

Summer 2019, Recap

“You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do them”

Hi lovelies, 

As we are drawing near to the end of summer now, I just wanted to do a quick recap of my summer, and all it had to offer me. This summer I vowed to myself to live life to the fullest and seize any opportunity to do things I found fulfilling. Although I didn’t get the opportunity to fly out to live my best life, or jaiye at Afronation, I can confidently say that, Summer 2019, you have been too good. 

Despite having started my summer sick and brittle, I quickly recovered after plenty of much needed rest and once better, I didn’t waste any time to start making plans with those I love. 

May

After 10 days of not seeing them, the college girls and I met up for a shopping trip in Dublin City. As someone who used not to be very confident in their navigation of the town, I was pleasantly surprised on how good my navigation was. We spent the day gallivanting, and to end the day we went to TGI Friday’s, on Temple Bar.

June

June was such a busy month for me. On the 2nd of June, I decided to finally bite the bullet and start this blog – meaning any spare time I once had, was and is now spent typing. However, thankfully, it has been such a wonderful and surreal experience thanks to all of you who have been reading them on a weekly basis.

Other than working and integrating blogging to my lifestyle, I also tried to spend some quality time with my family.

This was also the month that I got engrossed in all thing Love Island despite my original dismissal of the show. Without getting into too much detail, I’m actually happy that I ended up watching the show, as I gained some valuable life lessons (suprise suprise!!).

  1. Sisters before misters ALWAYS!!
  2. Be confident in you
  3. Always expect the unexpected

July

As some of you may know this year I was resident more so in Wexford than Kildare – meaning I had little to no time with my family and friends from home throughout the academic year.

July, however offered plenty of time for me to catch up with those near and dear. Roadtrips, cinema dates and everything in between were had.


August

As I am writing this, the month of August is not yet over. However, in the next two weeks I will, most likely be spending, most of my days in work, so I will not have much left to recap with you.

So far I have spent this month attending events such as Girlz Arize and CTY 15 hours of Praise. I’ve also been catching up with friends, embarking on road-trips and engaging in family time.

Overall, like I said at the very start of this blog post, I am very content with how my summer has gone this year. I wanted to be productive in whatever I found myself doing, whilst having a nice balance of work and fun – and I can confidently say I did just that.

“Be spontaneous. Be crazy. Leave your comfort zone and live with no regrets.”

Love, Nyasha x

H.O.P.E.

“Life is worth living, so live another day” – Justin Bieber

Hi lovelies,

Today, I have decided to discuss a topic that is near and dear to my heart, and that is, mental health. The World Health Organisation describe positive mental health as ‘a state of well-being in which an individual realises his/her own potential and can cope with the normal stresses of life, whilst working productively…’ . An individual’s positive mental health may be compromised as a result of long lasting and extreme negative emotions. Research shows that at least one in four adults, will be affected by some form of mental health issue at some point in their lives, as a result of environmental stresses, genetic factors, biochemical imbalances, or a combination of these.

My battle with mental health began at the age of 14, when I started feeling alone, powerless and despondent. I remember feeling like the whole world was against me. These emotions began affecting my self esteem and the relationships I had with people. For a long time I battled with these emotions on my own as I struggled to make sense of why I was feeling the way I was. I questioned what I had done to deserve the constant thunder cloud’s that shadowed me. I was slowly spiraling to a point of no return.

I can’t remember if it was necessarily by chance, or if I purposely found Zoe Sugg’s channel around this time. Her videos, specifically the ones where she would speak about dealing with anxiety – acted as the glimmer of hope I had been searching for. I found her openness to discussing her struggles and how she was overcoming them, comforting. I began to realize that I had the power to change the emotions that were clouding me – my optimism was back!

Although I have never really spoken in depth to anyone about my thoughts during this period of my life, I am always more than willing to encourage those who may feel like all hope is lost. We need to remember that ‘happiness is a journey, and not a destination’ – we may go through times that challenge us but there is always hope. We are not defined by our mental illnesses. Although it may not seem like it right now, you have the power to be in control of your life. You can achieve your heart desires.

Take it from someone who thought they would never see their 18th birthday, go to college or even one day be content in themselves… this is not the end. It does get better – maybe not overnight, but with time, hard work and dedication to yourself and your well-being, you will begin to see improvements concerning your mental health.

Just Hold On, Pain Ends.

Love, Nyasha x