Tag: youcandoit

How to stand firm in the face of adversity

Hi lovelies,

Happy new month! Can’t believe we’re half way through the year, and into the summer months, already. I hope you are all keeping well, and that life is treating you kindly.

In today’s blogpost I wanted to write a piece of encouragement for anyone who may be faced with adversities.

With every new day, comes new possibilities, strengths and thoughts. While other days, also bring the least expected obstacles and challenges. The nature, significance and extent of these obstacles and challenges vary from person to person, however, the importance of standing firm in the face of these adversities, remains the great equaliser.

It’s now been two long years since the panoramic halted all of our lives, and although we somehow learnt to just ride the endless waves of uncertainty – it is important to consciously learn to stand firm when adversities strike, rather than allow the waves to drown us out.

Based on my own experience, one can learn to stand firm by;

  1. Shifting your mindset
  2. Establishing a strong support system, and,
  3. Consciously reflecting and redirecting

1. Shifting your mindset

It’s true what they say, your perception directly impacts your reality. Quite simply put, we see the world, not as it is, but as we are!

If you don’t like something in your life, change it! And I know that can be easier said than done, but with the right focus and dedication, you can make your dreams and desires a reality.

“The problems you face are not STOP signs, they are guidelines.”

Your life is controlled by what you focus on, so focus on the good.

2. Establishing a strong support system

Having a strong support system is pertinent during trying times. Ensure that your immediate circle of family and friends are a reliable and strong source of support to you, and focus on creating boundaries and/or mending those that aren’t.

I once read a quote that said: “Whatever you are going through in life, both positive and negative, takes a village – because you are not meant to go through it alone”.

Healthy and strong support systems are sources of wisdom & guidance, strength & hope, and, understanding & compassion.

Does your current circle of friends and family currently reflect the above characteristics?

3. Consciously reflecting and redirecting

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way creating more unintended consequences…”

Margaret J. Wheatley

I am a strong believer in all things reflection in both personal and professional life. It is, and has proven to be the key to success, and personal development in my life.

This is at large due to the fact that reflection allows me to pay particular attention to past actions and thoughts, with emphasis on identifying future learning and growth opportunities in my life.

Through reflection, you have the ability to take stock of how you’re living your life and redirect it’s course, where necessary, in advance to unexpected trials and tribulations.

By engaging in ongoing self reflection, you will soon develop a strong sense of resilience and self awareness, which in turn will help you stand firm when faced, with lives endless adversities.

By following the above steps, you will soon learn to view adversities as stepping stones to greatness, rather than stumbling blocks.

Love, Nyasha x

Lessons I learnt in 2021

Hi lovelies,

Happy New Month! I guess it’s far too late for me to wish you all a Happy New Year, seeing as we’re now well into the month of February. However, I hope 2022 has been good to each of you thus far, and I wish you all nothing but happiness, success and good health throughout the year.

I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything on here, but today I wanted to share some of the life lessons I learnt over the last year. 2021 was a whirlwind of a year for me. It was filled with so many highs and just as many lows. It was definitely a year that pushed me out of my comfort zones, changed my mindset, and also caused me to consider the fact that not everything is always as it seems.

When I look back on the previous year, here are 3 major life lessons that I learnt.

1. Trust your gut

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying “trust your gut”. It refers to listening to your intuition. By doing so, this enables us to avoid unhealthy situations and relationships.

Over the last year, I was lucky enough to work overseas – and as wonderful as the opportunity was – in one way or another, it continously reminded me of the importance of staying true to oneself.

More often than not, I was forced to refocus on my gut feelings, and although this would sometimes feel similar to physical feelings associated with anxiety, in due time I would always feel a sense of safety, peace and even happiness, once I had followed my gut.

“Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through ignoring our intuition”

2. Do not overly depend on any one person

Now before I delve into this point, I want to start by saying that I am a firm believer in the proverb that states that ‘no man is an island’, meaning that none of us are truly self sufficient. We desire human connections for comfort and community.

However, that doesn’t mean we should overly depend on any one person, whether that be your partner, best friend, cousin, mother, father and/or sibling.

The reality is, that we came into this world alone, and we’ll leave it alone. So, whilst we continue to rely on community in order to thrive in each of our individual lives, let’s learn to also stand alone. Become comfortable in your own company – there is honestly nothing more empowering than learning to enjoy ones solitude. By doing so you will quickly grow to learn that your happiness, self worth and state of contentment is not determined by others.

“Never search for happiness in others, it will make you feel alone. Search for it within yourself, you will feel happy even when you’re left alone”

3. Admitting you need help is okay

“One of the biggest defects in life is the inability to ask for help”

Everyone of us require help, and support every once in a while – and this is perfectly fine. As mentioned previously, ‘no man is an island’, therefore we cannot and shouldn’t expect ourselves to carry troubles all on our own.

Unfortunately, many of us still struggle to ask for help, even when we desperately need it. As a result we leave ourselves open to feelings of depression which may also result in the deterioration of our careers and relationships. Some of us have the belief that to be considered a ‘strong individual’ you must be able to face all your challenges on your own. However, this is very far from the truth.

By asking for help when we need it, we save ourselves from a lot of unnecessary emotional burden.

Remember, “a problem shared is a problem halved”

In the words of Barack Obama,

“… Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and then allows you to learn something new.”

2009

I could continue to list out many other lessons I learnt over the course of 2021, but I thought I would keep this blog short and sweet. I hope that this blog post resonated with at least one of you, and reinforced something that you needed to hear.

With that being said, I hope 2022 is filled with nothing but growth for each every single one of us.

Reflect, refresh and refocus as often, and as much as you need to.

Love, Nyasha x

Stop underestimating yourself

Hi lovelies,

Before I get into this weeks blogpost, I just want to say my sincere apologies for not posting one last week. I was honestly so exhausted by the time it got to the weekend, and just kept experiencing writing blocks whenever I sat down to write. Thankfully I’m well rested now, the sun is shining and I am feeling super motivated to conquer the week!

Yesterday as I was scrolling through Instagram, I came across a quote that read “Stop underestimating yourself”.

Tomorrow, I start my final year in college – and I’d be lying to you, if I was to say that, I wasn’t feeling worried and overwhelmed. Quite simply, the thoughts of ‘THE THESIS’ scare me! When I think about gathering all the research involved in it, I start to undermine not only my abilities but also myself.

For some reason, in my head I have managed to construct the belief that I am going to walk into my Research Project module and be flung into the deep end with 0 assistance. However, in reality, I know this won’t be the case. I can be rest assured that my lecturers, friends and family will be there every step of the way – to offer guidance, support and encouragement when in need.

This year surely wont be the easiest but I will definitely pull through it.

“Sometimes when you are the closest to your breakthrough the pressure is the greatest. You have come too far to give up now!” – Joyce Meyer

Whether you are starting college, going into your final year, or embarking on a new life venture, do not underestimate yourself.

Believe in your abilities.

Each of us was born with the potential to do great things – but those great things can only come to flourish when we believe.

“You must expect great things of yourself, before you can do them”

Love, Nyasha x

My Midnight Lament

Hi lovelies,

As mentioned from the very creation of this blog – Nyasha’s Nook, is a space, I created to offer seclusion and security to those in need, including myself. In today’s blog post I wanted to take a more serious approach, which I hope will not only provide healing to me, but also to those around me who have been affected or who are in similar situations.

Without delving into the whole story, during the week, a situation arose, that caused me to utter the words – ‘I wish I was never abused’.

Later, as I was reflecting on those 5 small yet mighty words, I began to realize the effect everything was still having on my life, to this very day.

For many years I was aware, yet doubted the fact that I was ever a victim of such. However over the last year, I have come to realize that I was maltreated. I was taken advantage of, whether knowingly or unknowingly by certain individuals.

Without getting into the nitty gritty of it all, I still always question what my life would have been like, if I had never experienced the things I did. Would I have been more ambitious? Would I trust more? Would I have a higher self esteem? The queries only go on and on…

Despite the fact that the reality of it all, is horrific. I choose to not let it define me. I choose to let go of the hurt, bitterness and pain associated with the sheer thoughts of the experiences. I am deciding not to allow it to affect my life negatively any longer.

Yes, there will be days that it will be a lot harder to pick myself up from the bitterness, but I will at least make the effort to stand up tall, and to encourage those behind me.

The sad reality, is that, each of us has been abused in one way or another, whether sexually, physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally, financially and/or spiritually. These forms of abuse can occur, for both short and long periods of time, and their effects may vary from one individual to the next.

If you are reading this and you are/have been a victim of abuse, these affirmations are for you;

I am loved.

I am appreciated.

I am valued.

I will prosper.

I have a purpose.

I will succeed.

I will be patient with myself as I heal.

“Your past is just a story. And once you realize this it has no power over you” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Love, Nyasha x

Tips for Settling into College

Hi lovelies,

So after many weeks of promises, I’m finally sitting down to deliver a blog posts that is college related. Firstly, in case I forget to formally say it, I want to wish each of you awaiting results next Tuesday, the best of luck. For those of you, who may be anxiously counting down the hours, just remember that everything will work out, even if it doesn’t seem like it will, at first.

“In the end everything will work out fine. If it doesn’t. It’s not the end”

As discussed in my previous blog post entitled “It’s Not Over… It’s Just The Beginning”, there are various routes with multiple ways, to get to your desired destination, so don’t ever lose faith. For those of you hoping to go into third level education, I have been asked to share some tips on settling into college.

In September I will be going into my final year of studying Early Childhood Education and Care in IT Carlow, Wexford Campus. Upon reflection on my first few weeks of college in first year, I came up with the following four tips for those of you, who will be continuing on into third level education in September.

1. Come Prepared

Unlike secondary school, college is based on self directed learning. Lectures are there to help their students, prior to assignments and exams, but ultimately it is the effort the student makes that will earn them their desired result. That is why it is so important to come to lectures prepared. Always have a notebook and pen at the ready to jot down any terms, or better yet assignment hints that are mentioned in passing.

2. Be open to new experiences, friends and opportunities

Whether you are going to college, university or a post leaving cert, it’s important to be open minded. The truth of the matter is, you are about to experience a whole new journey that you can’t always control. Allow yourself to experience new ideas and thoughts. Allow yourself to make mistakes, recognize them and get back up again. Be confident in you, what you stand for and your beliefs. Although college may seem like the next step after secondary school, it is in fact a whole new experience that will shape you not only as a student, but as a person – so allow yourself to experience that journey wholly.

3. Be organized

As mentioned above, college is all about self directed learning. Take my advice when I say, get a planner or even a notebook where you write all your deadlines in order of importance. College will be a lot easier for you, and those around you, if you stay on top of your assignments and readings. If you were one of them students who would leave their homework till the night or morning before a class, in secondary school, I would strongly advise you, not to carry that habit into college as it will only result in tears (*I’m not even being dramatic*).

4. Prioritize your time

College life has so much to offer – a new routine, new hobbies, new friends and new experiences. You may want to experience everything your college has to offer all at once, but remember to try not to take too much on, as you may risk burning out so early on in the year. Try to prioritize getting into a routine of attending lectures and meeting deadlines before you start taking on too much socializing – aim to strike an equal balance of the two.

In finishing I want to wish each of you, all the best, as the new academic year approaches, whether you are going into first year of college or not. I hope the year brings you joy, success and minimal stress.

Love, Nyasha x

It’s Not Over… It’s Just The Beginning

Hi lovelies,

Firstly I would like to say a massive thank you to those of you that interacted with my polls and questions on Instagram at the start of the week. It was really insightful to see all your responses on what you would like to see on the blog, over the next few weeks. I promise to try my best to deliver. One particular request I got was to write about results, and seeing as the leaving cert results come out in a little less than a month and the junior cert after that, I decided to share some encouragement for those awaiting their fate.

Exam season is often an extremely stressful period for the best of us. The manner in which they are prepared for and examined often leave students feeling anxious as results day approaches. Although exams usually mark the end of one phase of life, and influence the choices for the next, they are not to be considered the be-all and end-all. It is important to remember that a rounded education is much more valuable than good grades.

From a personal perspective, the lead up to any results day usually leaves me feeling a whirlwind of emotions, which include anxiety, excitement, stress, nervousness and eagerness. Thankfully I’m not the only one. The lead up to exam results is undoubtedly the most stressful time for students, talkless the pressure of needing specific grades for college, or simply, to sit higher level subjects in senior cycle. You may feel like the results you achieve, will determine how your life will pan out in the future, but I am here to tell you that they are just a small part of a much bigger picture, and not the be-all and end-all of success.

Whether you get the results you’re aiming for or not, when you open that envelope, remember to continue to follow your dreams. Just like when you’re on a road trip, in life, there are many routes to get to your desired destination, do not limit yourself based on everyone else’s experience. Take the road less traveled, and see where it might take you.

I’m a firm believer in speaking things into existence, so I would encourage each and everyone of you awaiting results, academic or not – to start speaking positively concerning it. “To achieve great things, you first have to believe”.

Love, Nyasha x

Believe in You

Hi lovelies,

As I was thinking the other day, I came to the realization that I have a terrible habit of talking myself out of progression in various areas of my life. Like many, if not all of you reading this, I desire to live a successful life, however I often find that I’m battling thoughts of failure when faced with opportunities for advancement. I’d almost liken this battle in my head to the ‘angel and devil on your shoulder’ scenario’s, seen in movies and tv shows where an inner conflict occurs for the character, as a result of what’s happening in their subconscious. This battle usually gives way to doubt and usually leaves me questioning my abilities.

These feelings have occurred for me, for as long as I can imagine, but I only recently identified them, as I was FINALLY going to apply for my provisional license. For two years now, I have been procrastinating the process of learning to drive. Although I have always had a longing to get on the road, the thought of failing, not only the driving test but also the theory, constantly consumed me, prohibiting me from taking any action whatsoever. Despite these reoccurring thoughts, and with the encouragement of family and friends, I eventually booked my theory test in May, and passed with ease. Having then passed the theory I began to question why I had doubted myself for so long. I began imagining all the adventures I could have embarked on – which ultimately made me realize how much time I had potentially wasted… for two years I had been allowing the negative thoughts, plagued in my head to stop me from reaching my goal.

By fostering negative thoughts, we prohibit ourselves from reaching our true potential whilst acting as the greatest obstruction to our own success. This thought process then encourages stagnation in one or more areas, and over time, then causes the individual to have a pessimistic outlook on life.

The truth of the matter is, life isn’t always easy. Work hard for what you want, or you’ll be left to settle with what you don’t. So put in the extra effort, study that bit harder, challenge and push yourself that bit more and most importantly believe in yourself. You never really know how much you can accomplish and achieve, until you try.

Begin visualizing your highest self, and start showing up as them.

You will not regret it.

Love, Nyasha x